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| 3/31/03 Ashley writes: |
It's been three years since Wellesley and I last posted anything here. We sort of got tired of making routine activities sound exciting, but now the newspapers and the TV are full of scary stuff and we think it's time to restore a little balance. I mean, when was the last time you saw something about a cat as the lead story?OK, first things first.... We Doerings are doing fine. Fayne and Paul's company The Pemaquid Press is looking forward to the autumn release of its first book, Strange Tales of Mid-coast Maine. You can read about it at TPP's website. Fayne continues to fight her Parkinson's to a draw. Her bowling average is still climbing, and just now she's excited about her "new" car, a screamingly red '01 Subaru Forester. As soon as the remodelling at WXXI is finished, she'll be back to scheduling the station's tours.Paul spends most of his time in TPP's East Rochester office, where he's completing the book's collection of short stories. If all goes well, the book will be available by mail-order for Christmas. Next month he'll be arranging for its printing and binding in Maine (right near where he and Fayne met me). He gets his recreation by doing the scenery for a friend's HO-gauge railroad.Wells and I are busy, busy, busy. The improved weather means we've been able to sit on the porch and chat with our robin buddies, Hood and Williams. We're glad to see them home safely. They'd time-shared a nest in a North Carolina oak tree, and I guess they had a lot of snow -- tho' not as much as our 128". The man who uses his truck to rearrange the snow in our driveway kept us amused from October onward.Wells weighs in at 18 pounds these days, although I must say he still looks sleek. He's just a big cat. I, of course, have remained svelt at 11 pounds. My secret? I watch what I eat. Actually, it's hard not to, when one's face is in the bowl.... which brings me to a problem no one's talking about: Crunchies Bag-bloat. Paul never lets us accompany him to the store, so he chooses our catfood on his own. He does pretty well on the canned food, but he strikes out on the crunchies. Thing is, if he brings home something we don't like, we're stuck with it for weeks because the stuff only comes in a bag big enough to hide in. Why can't there be little trial-size packages? Making a cat eat yucky crunchies is almost cruelty to animals. I mean, what if Paul had to eat Puffed Okra every morning for a month? |
| Wellesley replies: |
Cruelty to animals? Aw, you're just too picky. You think I got this big by walking away from food? Do what I do: make a game of it. Step on the edge of the bowl and then go on a scavenger hunt. You'll be amazed how far a piece of Dental Diet can roll. Besides, it's a great way to get attention. As soon as Fayne spots me pawing under the fridge, she goes under it with a yardstick. I get last night's crunchies and yesterday's pawballs. Live it up a little, kid. Don't be such a snooty debutant. |
| 4/3/03 Ashley writes: |
 This is "Take Your Cat to Work" Week, so yesterday Wells and I piled into the car for a ride with Paul to the office of The Pemaquid Press. I was surprised at how cosy it is. Some of the others we saw looked like a veterinarian's office, cold on the feet and too clean to be healthy. But look at the photo Paul gave us as a souvenir. There's a rug on the floor and a real La-Z-Boy rocking recliner! Of course, you-know-who jumped right into it and went to sleep. Not me. I spent a lot of time exploring.I found a fridge (no cat food in it) and a bookcase too tall to jump up on. I say two short bookcases are always more interesting than one tall one. Paul's computer desk is huge. I had a hard time spreading out over all the papers. I smelled a lot of Maine there. The clock looked a little like a souvenir from the Lisbon Falls Moxie Festival, and I bet the lighthouse in the print on the wall was the one at Pemaquid Point. I thought I recognized one of the chickadees in it, but what are the odds?One nice touch I liked was a big swag lamp instead of those ugly cold fluorescents. It helped make the place more like a study than an office. I think people are like cats: they're at their best when they're comfortable. So why did someone make all those other offices we saw look scary?You know what pleased me the most? The wonderul Great Seal of the State of Maine. You can see it in the photo. Paul said it had hung in the Maine Pavilion at Expo 67 in Montreal. I didn't know where Montreal is, but Wells said it's downriver from where he was born in the Thousand Islands. Maybe someday he'll show me.I had one disappointment. There was no litterbox. We have two at home, and believe me: by the time we got back to the house, two was a really smart idea!
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| Wellesley replies: |
I suppose the office was OK, but two things bothered me. First, there was only one La-Z-Boy, and that just doesn't work for two cats. Second, I don't like cars and now I know I don't like elevators either. They both violate Cat-mobility Rule 1: All motion is voluntary. |
| 4/6/03 Ashley writes: |
Wow, am I cold! An unseasonable storm pulled our house's plug two nights ago. It took out every house I can see from here too. I guess the furnace needs electricity, because this morning the house was close to the freezing point. Fayne and Paul were petting us like mad, but even all those sparks didn't impress the furnace.I'm glad Paul bought Wells and me our own laptop. It runs on a battery. I have trouble typing in the cold, though. You think cats are warm in all this fur, eh? No way. Sure, I have tufty toes, but my little footpads are bare and these computer keys are like icecubes. A person would just put on gloves, but cats only have mittens. {Remember the "Three Little Kittens" nursery rhyme?) No one can type in mittens.Fayne and Paul are funny. She's sleeping in her down coat and Paul needs a shave. Some lucky friends have offered to let them sleep over, but they seem to think this is a moral issue. People! |
| Wellesley replies: |
C'mon, Ash, cut 'em some slack. It's nice of them to stick around. I bet the sleep-over invitation didn't include us. You wanna take turns cleaning out our litterboxes? You know how to open those little catfood cans? I didn't think so. |
| 4/8/03 Ashley writes: |
WE'RE WARM AGAIN! Yesterday a little before Second Can-opening there was a fur-starching shriek. Paul said it was the house's alarm system reactivating when the lights (and more importantly the heat) came back on. He did some magic and the noise stopped. I guess I don't understand the alarm system. It made no noise when the power went off, but it screamed like mad when everything was OK again. Isn't that a little backwards? Some hours later we found Wellesley. He's the official guard-cat, but the kindest thing I can say on that subject is that he practices a low-risk variant of heroism. |
| Wellesley replies: |
HA! You sure don't understand the alarm system. That shriek might have meant the house had been invaded by marmots. I did the only sensible thing: I waited in ambush under the couch. It just so happens the alarm for Power Back On is very similar to the one for Marmot Invasion. I'll speak to the alarm company about that. |
| 4/12/03 Ashley writes: |
There's something to be said on behalf of boredom. We've had electricity now for five days. I think we're settling back into our we deserve placidity mode. Someone turned the warmer weather back on too, so things outside the sunporch are looking perky. The neighbor boy who pushes the noisy grass-shortener stopped by yesterday. I guess he's been signed for another season. I'm glad. He waves to us when he sees us on the porch. His name is Paul too. Maybe all the other names were used up.Hood and Williams stopped by this morning. They're looking for a new tree to nest in. They used to live in the big maple in our yard, but it lost a lot of branches during the storm. There was a huge pile of them on the lawn. Paul (our Paul) cut them up and stacked them by the curb. Some men are loading them into a big truck.
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| Wellesley replies: |
The branches came off in the storm? I thought the tree had coughed up a limb-ball. |
| 4/14/03 Ashley writes: |
YAWN.... I really must learn how to read clocks. It must be very early as I type this. The only time Paul showers before sunrise is when he's getting ready to go on a trip. Normally I don't have a suspicious nature, but I can't help wondering why our laptop computer's case is lying open on his bed. It's almost like he's planning on taking Wells' and my computer with him. If you don't hear from us for a while, you'll know he's committed a Macnapping. I wonder what the penalty is for that? |
| Wellesley replies: |
Windows for life without possibility of parole? Let's get downstairs, Ash. He'll be heading down for First Can-opening any minute, and all the litter is still in the tray. |
| 4/22/03 Ashley writes: |
Let's just see, now.... OK, the computer's back and it still works. Paul apologized for borrowing it.  He took it to Maine so he could use it while he was doing some research for his book. He spent a week in the library at Damariscotta. He says he arranged to have the book printed there this summer, too. He took my advice and signed up The Pemaquid Press as a member of the Damariscotta Region Chamber of Commerce. Wow, he must have spent a lot of time at Pemaquid Point. There's a bunch of new photos of the lighthouse on the disk. Here's one I like. He says he took it Easter morning. It looks like he had nice weather.He bought a stack of books about Maine while he was there. Mostly they're about what he calls "the old days". I'm not sure what that means, but I don't recognize many of the pictures. I hope he didn't pay a whole lot for the biggest book. It's called "White Pages, Bath-Brunswick Area". Flimsy plot, way too many characters.Fayne was a dear while Paul was gone, though she's not so much of a pushover for food as he is. She spent some time playing with a piece of string she seems to like. Wells and I joined in, as she looked a little silly playing by herself. When she came home yesterday afternoon, she told us she'd bowled especially well. As nearly as I can tell, bowling is like pawball but louder. Last week she brought home a shiny statue with a little gold woman at the top. It had a note on it about her team's being the league's champions, whatever that means. She seemed happy, so Wells and I praised her. She likes that.We're settling back into our familar routine now. I'm glad we're all back together. Paul's being away reminded us that one cat per human ought to be the rule. |
| Wellesley replies: |
Books! Is that all think about? You forgot the most important news from Paul's trip: he brought home some cans of a new brand of catfood. And how about that new fleece jacket? Have you napped on it yet? Talk about soft and warm.... I bet you'll be glad to have it tonight, because the voice in the noisebox said it's going to snow. You think we should invite the robins to sleep on the porch? |
| 4/25/03 Ashley writes: |
So there I was, minding my own business and relaxing on the top of Paul's stereo, when WHAM! He scooped me up, wrestled me into the carrier, toted me to the car and drove me to the vet's office. Oh, the indignity of it all.... Some Powerful Katrina in a smock clipped off the tips of the claws I'd been grooming for months. Then she unceremoniously dunked me into a tub of warm water and scrubbed me with some bubbly stuff that smelled like a flower garden. I kept reminding her I'm a cat. Cats wash themselves, and cats smell like cats. She paid no attention. After she'd rinsed me off and towelled me down, I was in the middle of real bad-hair day. She put me into a cage and plunked down a dish of Who Knows What. Yuck.When Paul and Fayne came for me, they actually paid that rascal! Hey, I wasn't even dry yet. I'd have sued her.Hmmm.... Wells, you know any lawyers? |
| Wellesley replies: |
Not personally, no. But there's a guy on TV who says he gets millions for injured clients. He doesn't say millions of what. Kitty Yummies, maybe. That'd be nice. Dwayne "the Beartrap" Frabble, I think he's called. |
| 5/19/03 Ashley writes: |
Honestly, that Paul is such a baby when he gets a cold. First he gets into his flannel PJs with the sewn-in feet, then he closes his door and takes to his bed. Fine and good, I say, except our laptop is in his bedroom. So it's been almost a month since we last posted anything here. Yeah, he's fine. His doctor says his problem was CARS. No, not SARS -- Cars. Seems he was riding around with the windows down before it was really warm enough.Mind you, Wells and I haven't been idle. With Paul wrapped up like King Tut's cat and Fayne out for her exercise classes, we had plenty of time to sneak out and talk to Dwayne "the Beartrap" Frabble about suing the vet. Wells was right: Dwayne only sues for money, not crunchies. Where are the lawyers with vision? |
| Wellesley replies: |
I did warn you. Anyway, I think we were lucky. I didn't like the way he kept looking at you. Did you see his fur collar? I'm not sure that was mink. |
| 5/22/03 Ashley writes: |
Oh good grief, Paul's gotten all excited about an article in The Lincoln County News. It seems that federal and state officials are going to be at Pemaquid Point on June 9 to commemorate the release of Maine's 25-cent piece. That's the latest in the series of quarter-dollars honoring the states and released in the order in which they were admitted to the union, remember? Well, nothing will do but that he be there. And why at Pemaquid, you ask? Because the design for Maine's quarter features a representation of the Pemaquid Point lighthouse as its motif. I really don't see what all the fuss is about. I mean, I grew up around there, yet I'm perfectly content to lounge around the house here in Rochester and let myself be worshipped.But oh no, he has to be there. He says the crowd at the lighthouse is expected to be 3,000-strong. That's fun? Oh sure, if all those people were lining up to pet me, that's be one thing. But just to hear some official from the US Mint say, "Here's the quarter"? OK, maybe the Maine governor will be there, but he's such a big draw? Quick: name the governor of Maine! That's what I figured. It's Balducci.So Paul will be off to Maine for the festivities. I can see going back to Maine, say, to place a plaque to my birthplace. But to get all foamy-mouthed over a quarter? What can you buy for a quarter these days? Hey Paul, get a life.
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| Wellesley replies: |
He's got a life, you silly cat. You surprise me. Maybe your heart doesn't have a corner with a shrine to your roots, but mine does and apparently his does too. I only wish I could be there with him to see what's special about his place.And what can you you buy for a quarter, you ask? Try this: a little pocket-sculpture of a place that's special to him. You know what I heard him say? I heard him say he'll be carrying a few of those quarters with him at Pemaquid as gifts for friends who feel as he does: that knowing where you heart lives is maybe the most precious knowledge of all.See? I'm not merely a gorgeous hunk. |
| Ashley responds: |
You're right. I apologize. Thanks, Wells.... |
| 6/17/03 Ashley writes: |
Well, today Paul finally got his Maine Statehood quarter. He didn't get to be in Maine for the official ceremony after all. I thought he took the disappointment pretty well. He pored over the stories and pictures in The Lincoln County News  and kept up a running commentary while Fayne was trying to watch TV. And he haunted the Rochester banks in the hope the quarters would be available here. No luck until today. The banks still don't have them, but a nice couple who run the Goodman Stained Glass store near his office brought him one. They have a home at Pemaquid, and they were there for the festivities. Paul gave me this photo he took of the coin. The real thing is silver, of course; but he had to get artsy. Ansel Adams he's not.He didn't bother with the other side. I can't blame him. It's the profile of some old guy. Some sort of a supermodel... mostly shows up on stamps and money.This side is sort of interesting, though. I've never been to Pemaquid Point, mind you, but Paul assures me the tall thingie left of center is the Pemaquid lighthouse standing on top of the ledges. I think that's a pine tree at the far left. On the right there's a three-masted schooner and some gulls. The gulls I recognize. They're from Boothbay Harbor. That's Agnes above the boat, and her boyfriend Filbert is just ahead of it. Filbert's a showoff. Figures he'd be out front. Clumsiest bird I ever saw. Just floating along, he could trip on the water. Paul says the boat is supposed to be the Victory Chimes, a real windjammer that takes tourists on sails along the coast. Actually, that sounds like fun. |
| Wellesley replies: |
Wow, I'll say. Imagine being the only cat on a schooner full of touristy Summer Complaints catching fish! Uh no, Madam. The head and the tail are the best parts. Most real fishermen just toss the middle part to the cat. Trust me, Madam. I'm a cat, aren't I? Sigh.... |
| In memoriam Lady Dinah of Moody's Rescued in July 1996 from the parking lot of Moody's Diner, Waldoboro, Maine. Died suddenly on November 19th, 1998. Her "Dinah's Diary" was the net's first Kitty Blog.
The world would be a better place |
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| - Fayne and Paul
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He didn't make it to Maine for the introduction of the Maine Statehood quarter on June 9, but he was on hand for the Dixieland jazz concert in the sanctuary of Round Pond's (Maine) Little Brown Church. It was a commemoration of the church's 150th anniversary. His great-grandfather Reuben Brown built the church in 1853, and Paul told us he felt a strong tug to be there.